If you can't count on the weather you can't count on anything

222,705 notes

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

 


kuzuryiff:

*sweating profusely*



Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”
There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her."No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”
And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

thejunglenook:

ballpointpun:

 

kuzuryiff:

*sweating profusely*

Somewhere a rocket scientist brain surgeon physicist with a knack for economics who wears Velcro shoes is having a stress breakdown.

When I was a professional ballroom dance instructor, one of my coworkers was having a tough time teaching a step to her student. As he gets more frustrated she tells him “it’s ok- you’ll get it- this isn’t rocket science.”

There is an awkward pause as her student stares back at her.
"No" he agrees, "this isn’t rocket science. That I can do. This is some sadistic step designed specifically to torture rocket scientists.”

And that’s how we found out he worked for NASA.

(Source: oldresidentdistrict, via insecureghosts)

47 notes

I’ve waited 85 million years

iggycat:

Alfred kicked his feet up on his desk as his eyes drifted from the blinking cursor of his computer screen to the bone he held delicately in his hand. He ran his thumb gently over it for the millionth time, feeling the slight bumps and indents, and smiling as he thought about his new discovery. Countless days and hours Alfred had poured into finding and scrutinizing the bones of the 85 million year old vechiosaurus and finally his work had paid off. He’d discovered quill knobs one day while inspecting the ancient fossil, and that was not to be taken it lightly. It meant the vechiosauraus had feathers! Alfred might have just discovered a link between current day birds and dinosaurs! He almost certainly had the Association of Paleontologists, Paleontologist of the Year Award in the bag once he finished typing up this report. His eyes flashed back to the screen. Yeah all he had to do was finish this report. All he had to do was type up his 68 page findings…

Alfred was startled as the door to his office was suddenly thrown open. He would have nearly dropped his precious vechiosaur forearm had he not held tightly to it.

"Alfred," the man who had entered said smoothly, as he immediately started to pick up this and that strewn about paper, and rearranged them in neat stacks. "Just because you spend half your time shoveling away towards the pits of hell doesn’t mean your office must look like one of your dig sites."

Read More

Filed under usuk fanfic

399,342 notes

8bitatoms:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

sevvey6:

morbidamusement:

captain-snark:

bananamerlin:

maderadearquitecto:

Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

imagine banging someone on that table

imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

noooooo stop

Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

aaaah it was a cool table now it’s a horror/drama story

(Source: rialxoan, via shslcutiepatootie)

130,275 notes

grapefruitshampoo:

ohpierre:

i-dont-shave-for-sh:

swordofomens:

dollyjigsaw:

tumblino:

basically

This is the most accurate post I’ve seen on tumblr

You are standing wrong. I say this as a massage therapist who works with people’s bodies all day: women are taught to stand wrong. Since the 50’s, pictures of women have been posed with their feet tilted to the side, knees locked to minimize the natural knobby shape of the knee, and sway-backed to stick their asses out for “perkiness” or whatever.
That is bad for your everything, and causes weakness in the core muscles which tighten and flatten the stomach.
The cure: feet pointing directly forward, put your hand on your tailbone. Tilt your pelvis until the tailbone is straight up and down. This will cause your knees to bend very slightly. It makes a huge difference for back and knee pain, and will make your tummy flatter with no sit-ups or working out at all.

THANK YOU

I had a feeling my strangely giant stomach and spinal weirdness had to due with posture

I saw this post a few days ago and have since been taking care to stand and walk like this, and it’s done miracles for my back pains and aching feet at work!

grapefruitshampoo:

ohpierre:

i-dont-shave-for-sh:

swordofomens:

dollyjigsaw:

tumblino:

basically

This is the most accurate post I’ve seen on tumblr

You are standing wrong. I say this as a massage therapist who works with people’s bodies all day: women are taught to stand wrong. Since the 50’s, pictures of women have been posed with their feet tilted to the side, knees locked to minimize the natural knobby shape of the knee, and sway-backed to stick their asses out for “perkiness” or whatever.

That is bad for your everything, and causes weakness in the core muscles which tighten and flatten the stomach.

The cure: feet pointing directly forward, put your hand on your tailbone. Tilt your pelvis until the tailbone is straight up and down. This will cause your knees to bend very slightly. It makes a huge difference for back and knee pain, and will make your tummy flatter with no sit-ups or working out at all.

THANK YOU

I had a feeling my strangely giant stomach and spinal weirdness had to due with posture

I saw this post a few days ago and have since been taking care to stand and walk like this, and it’s done miracles for my back pains and aching feet at work!

(Source: goliosi, via shslcutiepatootie)